Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Rage Against the Mouse


We have began the uphill battle to win back our domain. It, as you all
know, has been invaded by the Microtus pennsylvanicus, more commonly known as the field mouse or pocket mouse. The perimeter has been set. The hunting ground is the kitchen / dining room. We have acquired an assortment of traps, ranging from humane to very much inhumane. We do not have to worry about this because it is a damn mouse and not human at all. Human law, therefor, does not apply.

As we all know, pocket mice travel on all four limbs along the ground, as opposed to hopping like their relative, the kangaroo mice. Pocket mice are nocturnal and usually solitary. This bodes well for us, however, two of these supposed pocket mice have been spotted cavorting together late at night in the kitchen. It is my belief we are dealing with a rogue mouse. One set on slowly and methodically wearing us down.

After the first night of hunting, no carcass was recovered. There is hope that Felix, as he has come to be known, fed off the poison cubes and will appear in the fetal position and experiencing Riga mortise. This is only day one of the war ahead. We are in for the long haul. There is no backing down to this rodent. He will be brought to justice and an untimely death. I fully expect to return to the apartment this evening to find him twitching in pain, or attempting to chew off his own feet as he is glued to the trap.

Godspeed gentlemen. I will see you on the field of battle.

Mouse Hunter

Heede the Dub

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