Day ???

It's me again. I do not know how long it has been since my last post on this running thing. I am too exhausted to check the date of the "Day 2" post. Obviously, it has been a while. Sorry.

Here is the update. I was only one half mile behind the leader last week, I think. That was after I had only run about four miles for this dang competition. But the tide has run red with nipple burn. Unbeknownst to me, I was dealing with legit, real deal, "I run at 5am", pro-am 5k competitors.

It was not like I was bragging and boasting, and shouting from the flagpole or over the P.A. system during the morning announcements about my four miles. I wasn't. Seriously. If anything I was downplaying my early boost in the ratings, slightly suspicious of what my opponents were capable of. I was correct to be wary.

As of this morning I was at a meager 11 miles and in third place. There was absolutely no sign of the women in front of me because they have exponentially increased their paces. Over one weekend, one runner, let's call her Sleeprunner, ran like nine miles to take the lead. Myself and Runner 2, let's call her Trackstar, whose idea it was to start this God forsaken, "all for the fun of it", six month marathon, were stunned. But then the next day, Trackstar chalks up four miles for herself and I am left holding the plastic, bronze medal that everyone receives even if they don't finish the race.

I was demoralized and downtrodden to say the least. What was I to do? But a small spark went off in my belly after watching Jack Bauer disembowel a Russian assassin Monday night. That spark grew to a flickering little flame when Jack agreed to accept the responsibility of guarding The Island and drank Jacob's Kool-Aid. And Wednesday when I saw that Sleeprunner was almost at twice my total and Trackstar was only a few behind her, I decided enough was enough.

Then Alys took the wrong train Wednesday and wound up in Glen Rock. She needed a ride back to Nutley. She had crossed the county line over to the Bergen side and was out of her parents' jurisdiction. I was needed and unable to turn my little flickering flame in a fire.

Thursday. Enough was enough. Got on the road and my feet carried me all the way to good ol' River Dell High School. Two miles each way! I was not done. Got back and ran another mile around the neighborhood. Then to vary things a bit, I did a half mile shuffle stepping. The bonfire was a' burning!
Talk about in the zone! I did another half mile and called it a day.

Saving up a little some'in some'in for tomorrow.

Heed the Dub

Day 2

Ouch. Succeeded in running another mile and a half but at what cost. So to lift my spirits, here is an oldie but a goody.



How do you fit a 500 lbs. man into a size three dress?

Here is a hint.

Take the F out of fat.
And take the F out of weigh.

You are absolutely right. There is no F in weigh.

Get it?


Giggle a little while I ice myself.


Heed the Dub

Day 1

The challenge: Accumulate as many miles as possible running on whatever surface is available. Three teachers have accepted this challenge, all of whom will remain nameless, but I'll give you three guesses to figure out one participant.

A chart has been posted that records miles accumulated in total by all those involved. I joined the competition on Friday and I am already losing. Big time. I did nothing over the weekend, exercise-wise, but it was not my fault. I will accept the blame, however. Walking in today I saw that I, of course, was still at zero, but, more importantly, that my competitors racked up four and two miles respectively. And they are both women. Not that this makes any difference. Except for the fact that I am losing to girls. They mean business. Big time.

I prepared myself for such an arduous challenge the best way I knew how. I exercised a total of zero times over the past six months. For all intents and purposes, I planned on making this challenge every thing it could be and more. Of course I didn't find out about this running accumulation thunderdome game of death until this past Friday, but I knew my lack of physical preparation would come in handy eventually. I have always believed that a man could run a marathon on sheer will and gritty determination, which still could be true, but that man is not me.

Not even close.

I chalked up one and a half miles today on feet that have not seen or heard from my sneakers in months. They haven't called or emailed my feet in the longest time. And my feet are so dang stubborn that they aren't willing to be the ones to make the first move. But through some back channels and some mutual acquaintances, they reconnected. It wasn't easy going until about a quarter mile in but once The Black Eyed Peas Now Generation came one the good ole Zune, they were friends again.

Afterwards, it felt like my calves exploded in my legs. Stairs were now daunting. My hamstrings taunted me with cramps and my lower back spasmed out. And I'm sure my back just wanted some attention because it did very little of anything during the run.

But, tomorrow I get to shade in one and a half boxes. I'm sure my two fellow runners will have more boxes to shade in as well. Putting even more space between us, but I have joined the class of runners once again.

It feels good to be back.


Heed the Dub